This picture speaks volumes, doesn't it? I remember when I had it as my screen saver at work and people would always ask if the woman in the image was me. At first, I didn't mind it so much..I need it as a reminder to let go of my own bags. But, I tell you..the longer I had the image up, the more individuals would ask if I was that woman! At some point I began to get very agitated by the reference. I felt like, "She ain't me! I am done with mess from the past!" Super funny...
BUT what I failed to see in the picture is that she was RELEASING the BAGS in her hand and walking towards the CROSS!! Ding, ding, ding!! On point..so in essence, I WAS and AM that woman.
Time heals ALL wounds...I had (& am) allowing myself the freedom to heal from past hurts in God's timing. What I had to learn is that forgiveness can take time...and even longer, if you decide to try and do it without God. Learning that lesson too.
I have had many a struggle..some struggles I brought on myself and others I didn't. But what I had not realized is that I held on to the pain. The unforgiveness infiltrated my life and spread like cancer.
You see the bags the lady is carrying? Anger, hurt, fear, envy, depression...etc & BIG SIGH..etc. That is exactly what happened to me...weight, mentally, spiritually and physically. Something else, right? Welp..it's the truth no matter how slice it.
What I am learning is that when you decide..with the help of Jesus, to Forget those things behind and reach towards those things which are before...you drop baggage. And you will feel the weight drop, I promise you. It will feel like the fog has been lifted from your eyes and you will gain a new perspective about EVERYTHING.
However, these things take TIME..that's right...TIME. You can't rush how God chooses to HEAL YOU! ;)
Man, I wish I could change the timing of that...just keeping it all the way real, ok?
Nevertheless, we have been called to trust God and His ways aren't ours. Let me just say that it is NOT easy..and if it were, everybody would be doing it. Give yourself permission to heal and don't allow other people to condemn YOUR process. YOUR HEALING IS YOUR HEALING...MY HEALING IS MY HEALING. Just be healed... :)
This life is beautiful...it is a gift from our Creator who loves us more than we could ever know. He wants ours lives to be FREE (in mind & spirit) from life's hardships..He desires to give us abundant life...but we must choose His way...see the pic?? :)
It's not easy...but I AM HEALED...speak it as if you have it already...and I am open for my blessings!!
I decided to write...I needed to write, I felt that I had no choice but to write, TODAY. I needed something to find a way to release the thoughts in my mind. A way to come to terms with where I am in my life..and where I've come from. The most important thing about the my last statement is the, "where I've come from" piece. You see, for years I have held on to past situations, I am almost certain that I'm not the only one. But when you find your reflection in the mirror staring back at you strong and singular, you feel as if your situation is an isolated one.
Now, I can laugh about that saying...because just a few hours ago I couldn't hold back the tears. Welp, I guess that's life, isn't it? I came to terms with that fact that I AM NOT IN CONTROL. Ain't that the truth?? Well, I'll say it again.."I AM NOT IN CONTROL!" Ahhhh, sweet relief, in some instances. However, to the control freaks of the world, this isn't such a comforting notion. From being a single parent always needing to keep things in order (single parents know what I mean). To losing a job for the second time in a four year period. Or just trying to deal with life and questioning yourself....things certainly would feel out of control.
Nevertheless, what can one do when you have done all that you can do?? Welp, Donny McClurkin says, Stand. Actually, that's what the Bible says too...Epheshians 6:13. I am realizing that some situations, like those I've mentioned (I am sure that those reading have more), are just not in your control. There are just some things that you need someone greater than yourself to fix. So who is really in control? I believe God is.
I needed to write as my personal form of therapy. This first post may be a bit random, but hey..it's the first post. And you know what? This is more about me than anyone reading this, at the moment. I felt the urge to tell myself, give myself permission to Let GO & Let God..to have the Faith and Believe that He has my best interests at heart. He is in control...there is a benefit to this thing.
